Review: This Star Won't Go Out by Esther Earl

Title: This Star Won't Go Out

Author: Esther Earl

Genre: Non Fiction, Memoir

Publisher: Penguin

Pages: 431

This is a collection of the journals, fiction, letters, and sketches of the late Esther Grace Earl, who passed away in 2010 at the age of 16. Photographs and essays by family and friends help to tell Esther's story, along with an introduction by award-winning author John Green who dedicated his number 1 bestselling novel The Fault in Our Stars to her. (More from Goodreads)

Perhaps known best as the inspiration behind the famous TFIOS, Esther Earl has become a common name among teen readers everywhere. This is a memoir, and I, for one, am not a huge fan of those. Knowing that, you probably expect me to have a lot of difficulty with the book. And to that I say:

Yes, I most certainly had difficulty finishing this book.

My Thoughts on TSWGO

This book contains what the summary above said it would contain, and even more. It is a collection of Esther's journal entries, sketches and photographs; also other material given by her family and friends, and even her doctors. Some unfinished pieces of her writing are also included in the book, all the way at the end (which I have to say I skipped most of, although from the parts I did read I can concur with others that she has a gift for writing). Though the bulk of the material is typed, you do get quite a few shots of the actual letters/entries/sketches that Esther wrote. So from a distance, this book looks like it might be a light read.

In fact, if you flip through the entirety of the book you'll realize it must have cost a bomb to print- the scans/shots of the actual journals/sketchbooks/letters, and the photographs, and the colourful pages themselves printed on high-quality glossy paper, and for those details I really appreciate this book.

But it took me ages- AGES- to get through the book. I would not DNF it no matter how achingly tired my brain got, because for some reason I wanted to respect the book for what it is and try to push away the part of me that refuses to embrace memoirs. I'm glad to say I mostly succeeded.

There isn't much to say about the writing style. As a collection of journal entries, letters and the occasional professional opinion and chat logs, the writing styles varied throughout the book. Most consistent is Esther's series of journal entries, of course. 

Imagine being a young teen with a debilitating disease. You probably can't.

Imagine a teenager's journal, then. The writing style is most probably similar from teen to teen. 

Unlike the works of John Green's fictional characters Hazel Grace and Augustus, Esther is nowhere near as verbose or philosophical- which is just as well, because Hazel Grace and Augustus are fictitious to a fault. Esther has worries and desires just like any other teenager, but with the added elements of having to live with cancer. She celebrates; she reminisces; she breaks down- and the resulting entries, letters, and sketches are raw and emotional and... teenaged.

Esther does not say stuff like, 'My thoughts are like stars I cannot fathom into constellations' (or something along those lines, I'm not the biggest TFIOS fan out there). 

Esther writes about how tiring it is to be prodded by needles multiple times, and having to withstand the deafening MRI scan; how she wants to have a boyfriend and get her first kiss. She writes about how grateful she is for the little things in her life, particularly her family. And because her family is rather religious, she also writes a lot about her faith, which some say borders on being preachy, but come on. It is a memoir.

And even though a lot of people say she hasn't done much out of the ordinary, I can appreciate those who think otherwise. She made an impact, even if that impact had a lot to do with knowing a certain famous author-slash-YouTube personality. Like any other decent human being, Esther wanted to make an impact and help out before her time is up, and despite what the naysayers may say, she has. She has done many things and left her mark on the world, probably for a long time to come.

What made the book more easy to read than the typical teenager's journal, at least to me, are the parts that aren't Esther's: The touching introduction by John Green; a medical professional's introduction to Esther's condition; other things written by Esther's friends and family. It is a book of quality editing, except for one part where the chronology confused me a little, a bit later in the book.

This is about as much as I can 'review' for this book.

I bought this book for really cheap at the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale recently. Would I have bought it at its original price? Most definitely not. It is not my cup of tea, but I understand why many people adore the book. I guess being in the healthcare industry has desensitized me more than I would like to think. 

Would I recommend it? I actually would- but I will not insist for you to read it cover-to-cover.

~My Rating~

3 out of 5 Stars

★★★☆☆